Sisters of Wellber Review

10 03 2008

Main Title 
Genre: Fantasy, Action, Stupid
Main Studio: Trans Arts Co.
Episodes: 13

Every so often I end up watching a terrible show. I’m never quite sure how it happens, but it does. It’s a fact of life really. I think at least initially it’s something to do with me imagining promise that never really comes through, and later it’s a sort of “well I’ve already watched half of it, I’ve got to finish it now otherwise I will have wasted my time” type logical fallacy. Well, I guess I should share what promise I saw in this idiotic show:

The horse does not talk.

I’m not sure why, but this image seems to imply there is a talking horse in the show. I must warn you that there is in fact no talking horse in this show. There is however a talking steam-powered tank, a talking fairy, and a shit-load of talking humans for all you human-fetishists. Regardless of that, how can anyone not be at least slightly curious as to what this show is about from this picture? Well being a kindly fellow, I’ll save you the bother…

The plot of the show involves the runaway Princess of Wellber who is accused of murdering the Prince Gernia of Sangatras… accused by Prince Gernia who is still alive for some reason. She has 14 days to be executed by her own Kingdom or there will be war with Sangatras. So Princess Rita and a friendly burglar woman named Tina who starts hanging around with her must get to another third Kingdom called Greedom in order to prevent the war somehow. There is a Mahoromatic style timer at the end of each episode which says how long she has before war is declared.

Unfortunately the show does a really bad job of explaining the plot beyond this, and the Rita and Tina just sort of bumble about until they get to Sangtaras which isn’t really where they were trying to get to, and then series ends. The timer also runs out at episode 10 without anything bad happening, which is just confusing. Unfortunately the show continues in a second season, which I will make every attempt not to watch.

So?
until…?

Probably the best thing about the show is the talking tank named Cyrano de Bergerac, who is sort of like a steampunk tachikoma with the voice of a grouchy old man. He comes equipped with an enormous cannon but he falls asleep after firing it, unless the writer forgets this, in which case he doesn’t. There is also a tiny naked flying sprite girl named Sherry, who always ends every sentence with ‘Beru’, contributes literally nothing to the plot, and whose presence remains virtually unexplained.

The most overwhelming thing about this show is that everything in it is so unbelievably dumb. The plot is dumb, the characters are dumb, the setting is dumb. Examples! In episode 3, the characters stand motionless while a baddie very slowly douses the building they are in with flammable liquid and light a match. In episode 11, two characters who love each other have a duel for no particular reason resulting in one of them dying. It’s all just so painfully stupid.

Tea!
Despite my best efforts, this picture is unable to properly show how stupid this show is.

Oh yeah, one of the other reasons I ended up watching it was because Production I.G had their name attached to it, but I don’t reckon they did much more than the odd explosion here and there. The animation and graphics are functional, occasionally looking nice. Nice, but sort of like a Playstation 2 game, watch the opening to see what I mean. This show took almost a year to get subbed, which also contributed to me not giving up on it, as I had often forgotten how bad it was by the time the next episode came out. A second season is coming out now, in which presumably they still have to get to Greedom or else a pointless counter that doesn’t mean anything might expire!

Arbitrary Rating: 3 – Do Not Watch

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